I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
