Sry I called you an 8
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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