they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who died my cat blue again?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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