Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
