sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
