I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
This house was built for laser tag.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
