i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
