if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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