my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
