I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
