I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
