Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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