So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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