That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize