marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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