So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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