I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize