3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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