from now on my penis is your penis
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
