oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
