all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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