we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
