guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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