remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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