Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize