theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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