it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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