I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize