I smell stomach acid.
he puts the penis in happiness.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
