I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
