sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
