If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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