fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
