What did we do last night that was yellow?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
