The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
