let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
