I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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