shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
