I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
