it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
there is glitter all over my balls
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