just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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