i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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