were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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