her vagine was all disorganized.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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