Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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