hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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