you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
