I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think i got beer on your cat.
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