I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize