It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
