Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
