There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
