I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
