I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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