is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
