Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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