it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
