I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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