One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
