Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
