Let's paint friendship bongs
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
