This girl is more easily done than said...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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